Wednesday musings

Oscar party was lots of fun! I love the Oscars so much every year... the glam, the ceremony, everything. And it's really fun to watch it with friends so we can comment on things and all that. This ceremony wasn't super spectacular or anything, but it was still entertaining of course. Plus we had chili (the one thing I can cook well) and cheese fondu (which Seth made and was delicious) and other snackies and of course lots of wine:)

Other than that things have been ok. Work is going well, as usual. Things have been tough with Seth studying. Every time Seth studies things get tough between us because it's like I'm without a husband 80% of the time. I basically have to readjust to managing the house by myself, being by myself, etc.. He's hardly home on weekends because he's studying (he generally studies from about 10:00 until 6:00 Saturday and 12:00 until 6:00 on Sunday, with a few exceptions if something else is going on), and he stays late at work at least 2-3 days a week (meaning he doesn't get home until about 10:30 or 11:00.... normal getting home time is 7:30 or 8:00. And just FYI, he leaves for work at about 7:15 AM). And the studying goes on like this from February until mid-May and then again from August until early November. Hopefully, hopefully he will pass both exams this year and then next year he'll only have to take one so it'll only be half as much study time. And then if he passes three in a row it'll be over!! And it's difficult because we don't talk or spend time together hardly at all, and when he is home he's so stressed, and things don't get done around the house (i.e. I've been asking him to go through two boxes of stuff since the beginning of January and the boxes are still sitting where they've been for almost 2 months). Sometimes I just feel like I need a husband... and I don't have one hardly at all. And the frustrating thing is, I know he's doing all this because passing the exams means he makes more money and has more room for promotions. So he's doing it so that we can be comfortable financially, and prepare for when we have a family. I want to be a stay-at-home mom, mostly because I want to and think it's important, but also because, to be honest, my salary wouldn't be much more than child care cost. It's very, very important to Seth to be a good provider for me and a family. So it's tough for me to get upset about the studying because I know he's doing it for me and our future family. But that doesn't make it any easier. We had a long talk on Monday and I think we worked out some small things that might make things better (i.e. making sure we do a date night once a week, him being more attentive when he is home (i.e. giving me back/foot rubs), and sometimes coming home by around 7:30 so we can have dinner together and then studying for a few hours at home. This is hard, though, because when he studies at home that means I have to be pretty much completely quiet (no TV, minimal doing anything in the kitchen/living room, etc.)). So it's a work in progress. I'm trying to reframe the way I think about it, and it's strange because every time he studies, I get used to it toward the end (and then it's hard to have him around all the time). And then I get used to having a husband around for a few months and things are awesome, and then I have to get used to him studying all over again.