Overwhelmed, kinda

So I'm feeling kinda overwhelmed and so I'm just shutting down.... I guess I know how my students feel sometimes:) I think sometimes their schoolwork is so overwhelming, they just shut down instead of doing it.

Here's a list of things I should be doing now: exercising, getting my clothes ready for tomorrow, getting my lunch/breakfast ready for tomorrow, cleaning my house since my brother-in-law is coming in town tomorrow, making dinner for myself, going to Walgreens, taking a shower. And here's a list of what I am doing: sitting on the couch, blogging and watching The Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular.

I just feel like I've been so busy... work has been super busy with scheduling kids, and kids being, well teenagers, and failing classes and just doing stupid stuff.... and then there was this whole issue with the awards today. When we had to order the awards in February, Olivia and I decided on the award catagories for each department, so to make things (I thought) easier, I filled in the catagories on the award sheets. And today at the award committee meeting, people were all upset that they couldn't decide which classes to give awards in and they just went on and on and on about it and Olivia (my boss) was upset I did that without running it by her first. And it's not just work - I've been so busy at home too. On Monday Seth and I had to go help Julie jump her car battery and we were there in the cold for an hour or so and it never worked. So there went my whole Monday night. And last night Jen, Lauren, Chris and I went to see Sweeney Todd as part of our Broadway in Chicago package (it was pretty good -- a bit too symbolic at times), but that was the whole evening. And this evening I had to take Toby to the vet cuz (this is kinda gross, sorry) he needed his anal glands drained. And then tomorrow I have to tutor and Josh (my brother-in-law) is coming into town to stay with us until Sunday cuz he has some seminar thing for work.

Oh my god. I just realized what I need to do. I need to sing kareoke. I'm going to go use the Magic Mic RIGHT NOW. That will make me feel better and then I can actually be productive instead of sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself. Ok, I'm going to do that now.

Spring Friday

I love spring. It's well known that it's my favorite season... mostly because it's always so nice to come out of this cold hibernation feeling into this warm happy new-life world. And I've recently come to realize I really love Fridays... it's so nice once I come home from work and don't really have to do anything cuz I have the whole weekend to do stuff. Today is a beautiful day... they've predicted terrible thunderstorms but we haven't seen them yet (although it looks like it will storm any time soon). But right now it's warm -- 79 according to accuweather.com, but it's probably a bit cooler where I am cuz we're close enough to the lake to get the "natural air conditioning" effect (I should get a cute thermometer for our deck!) -- and very breezy, but it feels good and cooling. Toby and I just went for a great walk... lots of people out having fun and lots of people stopped to say hi and pet Toby, which he loves. We got to look at all the flowers bursting with color too. Now we're sitting on our deck (Toby and I... Seth is, of course, still at work) -- yay for wireless internet! -- and I'm having a refreshing glass of white wine and Toby is laying by the stairs watching any and all activity in the alley (that was a great sentence for alliteration!:) I love being barefoot and having the warm breeze on my toes. Can you tell I'm just generally contented with the day?!:)

Springtime

I'm in a much better frame of mind since the last blog:) The weather was beautiful this week and I love when it's spring. It's the idea of finally coming out of this hibernation coccoon like state and finally being free. The best way I can describe it is it feels like grass under bare feet and it smells like right after a rainstorm. Plants are starting to come up in the yard which is always nice.... life renewing and beginning.

So work has still been really busy but it's ok. Other than that not much going on. Today is Seth studying and me cleaning... and this evening we're going out to dinner and a movie with Jen and Andy.

Ranting Blog

So I'm pissed off about something and I have no one to talk to about it at the moment so I decided to blog about it.

First, you have to know I rarely get pissed off about things at work. I really love my job and although some things can be annoying, I generally go with the flow and don't get angry. So for me to get angry about something is a big deal.

Well two things. First I have to be at work in, oh, about 5 1/2 hours to run the ACT. I'm not happy about that. I don't want to run to ACT but I kinda got stuck in that situation. The only thing I can think is that is pays good money. So I'm pissed about having to go to work on a Saturday.

But the bigger thing I'm pissed off about is at 2:30 today (school ends at 3:10) .. while I'm trying to get everything ready for the ACT....I get a call from the admissions director that two new students are starting Monday morning and we have to scramble and get them schedules and get emails to their teachers, etc. So that's annoying enough but one of the students is a student who was expelled in October! I am completely and totally willing to work with any student - difficult or not - but this is a student who needed more than we could provide. He had behavior issues that needed serious therapy and caused an unsafe and chaotic learning environment. So I said to the admissions director that I was fine doing the schedule, but asked if him or the Dean woudl write the email notifying the teacher. He said sure. Well then about 20 minutes later he says, "Oh can you do it?" so I did because I think it's unfair to the teachers if they don't know in advance about new students. ... but now I'm getting all these teachers coming to me and emailing me about how upset they are and why is this student being allowed back. And I don't blame that at all.... but I can't be like, 'Well I agree with you, I wish he wasn't coming either." So basically I was completely scapegoated because the admissions director and dean (who allowed this student to return) know this would be unpopular so they made me take the heat for it.

So anyway, I'm ticked. And tonight we had a Girl's Night at Julie's and it was lots and lots of fun. But I'm kinda also pissed cuz I was trying to vent about this situation at work in the car on the way down and it was like, "Amy don't be negative. Just have fun" and literally everyone else gets to vent about their problems constantly and I try to vent about one thing and I get completely shut down.

So anyway. There's my vent. I feel kinda better. But not really. I think I need to talk with the Admissions Director and Dean about why I'm upset and how I feel completely scapegoated. A lot of times in these situations I try to think of the advice I'd give my students and that's what I would tell them. I'd tell them to communicate clearly, and not to be rude or accusatory. So I guess that's what I need to do. I also would ask them what they usually do to relieve stress. My answers would be sing, swim, do yoga, sleep, walk, but I can't do any of those things right now besides sleep. I wish I could sing but it's too late since I live in a condo. I'd like to say talk with friends but I don't think that's true. Cuz I don't talk to my friends when I'm stressed. Every time I try somehow the situation gets either shot down or turned back to them. I did talk to Seth somewhat tonight before I left. He's good to talk to. Maybe I'll talk more to him, or maybe to mom, tomorrow.

Happy weekend

I had a great weekend! The weather was beautiful -- 60s and sunny. I love the first warm day of the spring. Everyone is just so happy... there's this vibe about the city that positive and renewed. Like people are just shrugging off the cold and slush and coming out to play. On Saturday afternoon I was so happy to be out in the sunshine... I cleaned our deck for awhile... swept, cleaned the table, and mostly got my containers ready for gardening! I had dirt left from last year, but I wanted to redistribute some of it into other pots and just refresh it in general. I'm so excited for my container garden! I can't wait til it's warm enough to plant everything! Toby sat out with me and it was so nice. Then Toby and I went to the lakefront and took a long walk in the park, which both Toby and I love:) Then Saturday night was the big birthday party!! Since I just turned 30, and Julie turns 30 this week, and Maria turns 30 in a few weeks we decided to have one big party. It was loads of fun... we reserved space at Waterhouse (that was the only snafu... the tables we reserved weren't available, well one out of three was, and the staff wasn't really willing to do anything to make them available) and all our friends came and it was just in general a lot of fun. We were silly and drinking and laughing. Oh, and it was also fun cuz Maria just got engaged!!! So that was exciting!:) After awhile some of us went on to another bar which was probably a mistake... lol:) I wasn't that bad but some of the other girls were... but overall it was an extremely fun party.

Then today I wasn't hung-over at all and I think it's cuz I wasn't smoking. Normally, I would have been smoking like a chimney, but since I quit, I was fine. No headache, no feeling like my throat was on fire still, etc. It was nice. Then Elisa and I went shopping and that was fun too. I can't remember the last time I went shopping with a friend --- I almost always just go by myself. But I've decided, especially with Seth studying, I need to reach out to friends more and hang out instead of just doing things by myself. Cuz it was nice today.

So that's about it... more soon!